2012 Gruodžio 23

Rimo Tumino sodas

veidas.lt


“Neįdomus esu. Nieko neužmušiau, nieko nepavogiau. Nėr ką pasakoti…” – taip apie save kalba režisierius Rimas Tuminas. Tačiau Gražina Baikštytė apie šią asmenybę yra kitokios nuomonės, todėl nieko keista, kad knygynuose netrukus pasirodys jos knyga “Rimo Tumino sodas”. O mes pateikiame ištrauką iš šio kūrinio.

Rimas Tuminas: „Kai gali pasislėpti sode, dingti, ir tavęs nesuras, – tik tada sodas tampa sodu“

Mano tėvas šiaip buvo Antanas, o pavardė – Tumėnas. 1938-aisiais jis su dvejais metais jaunesniu broliu išvažiavo į Baltarusiją. Tėvo tėvas, mano senelis, pasiėmė du sūnus ir išvažiavo uždarbiauti. Jie netapo Baltarusijos piliečiais, bet pagal visus Tarybų Sąjungos įstatymus turėjo įsiregistruoti. Po metų tėvą ir jo brolį paėmė į sovietų armiją, kur reikėjo tarnauti trejus ar net ketverius metus. Ir tada prasidėjo karas. Dėdė, tėvo brolis, pirmomis karo dienomis žuvo, o tėvas liko gyvas. (…)
Po karo tėvas sugalvojo pasikeisti pavardę. Jam nepatiko „ė“ jo pavardėje – kažkaip neskambėjo. Keisdamas pavardę iš Tumėno į Tuminą, tėvas kartu pasikeitė ir vardą iš Antano į Vladą. Ten, kur būdavo išduodami dokumentai, dažniausiai dirbdavo rusai, tai ir užrašė Vladimir, ir tik vėliau buvo perrašyta į Vladą. Vladimiras tada jam skambėjo geriau negu Antanas. Taip ir liko Vladas Tuminas.
Ir kai įvedė tėvavardžius, aš tapau Rimu Vladimirovičiumi. Tiesa, senuose dokumentuose tėvavardis dar tebebuvo įrašytas „Antano“, todėl kai „Sovremeniko“ teatre dar pirmą kartą stačiau „Revizorių“, prisistačiau Antonovičiumi. Dabar esu Vladimirovičius.
Tėvas nemėgo pasakoti apie karą. Pradėdavo, sustodavo prie kelių epizodų ir iš karto nutildavo. Labai išgyveno. Jis buvo kontūzytas, ir tai atsiliepė jo charakteriui. Pasidarė nestabilus, greitai užsidegantis, emocingas, jautriai į viską reaguodavo. Bet turėjo savyje ir vienatvės, kažkokios nevilties… Pamenu, sėdėdavo sodo gale ištisas valandas.
Tai ir Tu taip sėdi…
(Juokiasi) Matyt, kartais „užsidarai“, sėdi ir nekreipi dėmesio, o čia visi žmonės eina, praeina kažkaip… Reikia atsiriboti, nes kitaip – sudėtinga.
Bijojai tėvo?
Taip, aš jo bijojau. Niekada nebuvo jokių sentimentų… Bet jis buvo šeimos gynėjas. Jis, be abejo, visus mus mylėjo, bet tokia savotiška, keista meile – griežta, gal net atžagaria.
Aš kartais savyje pastebiu jo savybių. Tas kampuotumas toks… Norėčiau būti aristokratiškų manierų, tokių lengvų, grakščių… O mano rankos grubios, kaip ir tėvo. Ir nosį jo paveldėjau. Akis iš mamos.
Kai Endriejavo mokykloje pradėjome mokytis rusų literatūros, prisimenu rusų kalbos mokytojos pamoką apie Michailą Lermontovą: „Лермонтов был смуглого лица.“ („Lermontovas buvo tamsaus gymio“) Na, visi ir klausia, kas tai yra „смуглое лицо“. Mokytoja galvojo, galvojo ir tarė: „Na, štai Tuminas – „смуглое лицо“.“ O kai ir pati mokytoja suabejojo mano tautybe, man taip skaudu pasidarė… Parėjau namo, pasakoju mamai, verkiu ir klausiu: „Mama, tai kokios aš tautybės, kad „смуглое лицо“?“
Tai tą tamsų gymį iš tėvo paveldėjai?
Taip, bet gal jis ne tiek „įdegęs“ buvo…
O charakteris kieno?
Gal ir tėvo manyje yra… Bet kažkokiu dvasinio pasaulio jutimu, jei galima taip sakyti, tai mamos. Gal intuicija ar netgi sentimentalumas, gailestis, užuojauta – čia mamos savybės.
Mama buvo švelni, subtilių minkštų bruožų. Labai išgyveno, kad jos antakiai, kaip ji sakydavo: „Ai, kaip kiaulės… Nėra jų, nėra tų antakių…“ Ji buvo brunetė, bet antakiai kažkodėl šviesūs ir siauručiai. Išgyvendavo dėl to ir, atsimenu, vis juos pasijuodindavo.
Mama buvo gyvų akių, bet nuolat kažkoks liūdesys joje. Vis liūdėdavo… Bėgant metams vis dažniau atsidusdavo. Ką nors daro kambaryje ar virtuvėje ir vis atsidūsta. Man nuo vaikystės tas jos dūsavimas išliko toks liūdnas, gailus kažkoks…Norėdavai kuo nors padėti, bet nežinodavai kaip… Paskui tie atodūsiai kartodavosi dažniau, vis dažniau…
Tavo rusiškos šaknys iš mamos?
Taip. Ji iš sentikių. Istorija sena.
Dar nuo Petro I laikų pradėjo persekioti sentikius. Buvo vykdomos represijos. Mamos šeima buvo pasiturintys žmonės. Prosenelė – bajoraitė iš Pskovo apskrities. Kadangi buvo turtingi, galėjo bėgti. Taip apsigyveno Lietuvoje. Nemažai buvo sentikių kaimų Lietuvoje, kai kas važiavo ir toliau – į Lenkiją.
Aš tik prieš mamos mirtį sužinojau, kad ji priėmė katalikų tikėjimą, norėdama ištekėti už mano tėvo ir paimti šliūbą. Viskas buvo slapta. Niekas nežinojo, kad ji tapo katalike. Tai buvo meilės istorija. Mano tėvo tėvai neleido tuoktis be šliūbo. Tais laikais buvo didelė nuodėmė taip gyventi. Mama pasikeitė ir vardą. Iš Veros tapo Veronika – Verutė. (…)
Nesupratau, kodėl mes vis kraustomės… Tuos laikus menkai prisimenu, bet žinau, kad jau buvome pakeitę kelias vietas. Iš Kelmės rajono persikėlėme į Molėtų Aluntos kraštą, iš ten į Rusnę – Pagrynių kaimą už Šilutės Nemuno link. Ten jau aš kažką prisimenu. Persikėlėme vėl atgal į Videniškius, į Molėtų rajoną, o iš ten – į Klaipėdos rajoną, Endriejavą. Taip visur po trejus ketverius metus nugyventa. Baisiausia būdavo palikti kraštą, mokyklos draugus. Tik spėji priprasti, ir vėl reikia išvažiuoti.

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